Facebook Code

Monday 16 November 2015

Excerpt from my book, The First Five Years: Nurturing Your Child's Ability to Learn


Newborns
         The newborn arrives inquisitive, perceptive and entirely dependent on caregivers. Living fully in the present moment and hiding nothing, he announces his needs in the only way he can–with his voice. When parents meet these needs in a timely fashion, the child learns to trust. When parents hold him in loving arms, gently touching and caressing him, he feels loved and secure. When parents of a young child prepare him for new experiences by telling him what will likely be happening and that they are there to comfort and protect him, he develops his ability to face new situations, which leads to resilience in times of change. Qualities such as this become who he is and allow him to explore his world with growing confidence and curiosity. Each and every interaction between parent and child has the potential to strengthen his character and build a solid foundation for all future relationships.
         When I looked into the eyes of my son for the first time and he gazed back with the deepest awareness I had ever experienced, I received a glimpse of the depth of the newborn. I believe that children arrive on earth with an intuitive ability to experience this world through both their physical and emotional senses. Consider each interaction with your child as an opportunity to protect and nourish his sensitivity. This may be easier to do when he is peacefully asleep in your arms and more challenging when he is behaving in ways which are less lovable, but both are important and significant in the moment by moment development of your child. Newborns arrive unfinished, waiting to be sculpted by daily life. It is easier for us to provide experiences for our child when we remember this. . . .
When an infant’s emotions are acknowledged and respected, he is allowed to experience life and express how he feels about it in a natural fashion. Although some such expressions (happiness, enthusiasm and amazement) are easier to take than others (anger and aggression), each one provides parents with visual (and often auditory!) clues about the child’s inner world. Also, long before he can tell you how he feels, he is learning the role emotions play in day-to-day life. If he is fussy because he is hungry and tired and you provide food, cuddling and a nap, he learns how to recover from distress. The opposite occurs when such cues are ignored, leaving him unable to cope when life delivers high-level stress later on.
         All that goes on moment by moment in a child’s world teaches him important information about reality. When we keep this in mind and attempt to consciously use opportunities for guidance, we open the channels for growth of emotional intelligence, not only in our children, but in ourselves as well.


No comments:

Post a Comment